In our society, children answering back to their parents or elders is always frowned upon. They are labelled various things, such as ill-mannered, incorrigible, etc. Parents are told to discipline them and to teach them good manners. Children are given lessons on respecting elders. Instead of realising their actual assertive personality, the part of them that is learning to talk back is often suppressed. Is this a healthy thing to do? Should parents know better?
An important skill that most parents lack is the power to identify that they may be raising a strong-willed child. Shedding more light on this, Megha Mehta, a certified parenting coach said that it can be both a rewarding and a challenging experience for parents of such children, but there is a silver lining.
“There’s a high chance of misinterpreting their actions and behaviour as stubborn or disobedient, but they surpass all these labels. They need your help in reaching their full potential, and if you force them to listen to you, it [may] affect their self confidence, and strain your relationship,” said the expert in an Instagram post.
According to her, as parents you should feel proud, not guilty, if your child is not listening to you, or is doing the opposite of what you had asked them to do. “Talking back, asking counter questions or being stubborn all the time…”
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Mehta said it may actually be good news, since chances are you are raising a determined child. “They are not stubborn or disobedient, they are actually assertive. [They are] curious about the rules they are asked to follow blindly. They are not going to follow things just because it is ‘normal’. Rather, they will create their own path and make bold choices in life that will make them successful.”
The expert, however, added that it does not mean that parents let their children do whatever they want, but that there is a “different way to raise a strong-willed child”.
She added that parents must learn how to get their kids to listen to them, without starting a fight with them.
